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User blog:Goldeaglefire/Random chat comedy - Five Night's at Mini's
Our story begins with Mini-Lewa, Judge Nuju, Berix, and Tawara walking into a bar... *Mini-Lewa: OW! That hurt! *Tawara: How the flip did the physical representation of the word "bar" get ahead of us, anyway? *Bar: Sorry. *Once the word "bar" moved out of their way, Mini-Lewa opened the door to a bar and proceeded to walk inside, shortly followed by his companions. *Mini-Lewa: Well, here we are! The BCC bar! *Judge Nuju: Ah don't like it. *Berix: Sugah? *Mini-Lewa: Yes, I'm sure there's sugar here. *And it's around that point when a random minifig approached them. This is Mister Gold. He's that golden Minifig from the Minifigures series. He's a greedy businessman who had noticed that the BCC had gotten popular recently, along with animatronics in pizzarias. *Mister Gold: Hi there, sirs! *Mini-Lewa: ... *Mister Gold: Er, hello? *Mini-Lewa: ...Shiny... *Judge Nuju: *hammers Mini-Lewa* SNAP OUT OF IT! *Mini-Lewa: Sorry, sorry...distracted by the fact that this guy's made of gold. *Berix: Sugah? *M-L: No, not sugar, gold. *Berix: Sugah... *Mister Gold: Ahem. *Tamara: Hey, you're not supposed to actually say it! *Mister Gold: And you're not allowed to break the fourth wall. *Tamara: Says who? *Mister Gold: Says me; I have enough money to make it a law that you can't break the fourth wall. *Mini-Lewa: ...Okay, what do you want? *Mister Gold: Simple: I want to viciously exploit your popularity by making a pizzaria with animatronics based on you. *Mini-Lewa: And what makes you think we'll agree to- *That's when Mister Gold pulled out a large briefcase and proceeded to open it. You can guess what was inside. *Mini-Lewa: ...That's a lot of zeros...and a lot of gold... *Mister Gold: And all I need on your part is for you four to be the models for the animatronics and do the voice-acting. *Mini-Lewa: Deal! *Of course, having made the deal, Mini-Lewa decided to head off to tell the Writers about the deal he made. *Mister Gold: Oh, before you go, here, have the briefcase to show your friend. *Mini-Lewa: And you're trusting me with this why? *Mister Gold: Because, that's only a small portion of what I own. If you try to make off with it, I'll sue you and drive you out of your home. *Mini-Lewa: ...Got it. *Judge Nuju: I don't trust you... *Tamara: For once, I agree. *So, now the Mini's went off to tell the Writers about the deal they'd made. *They opened the door to the BCC headquarters to find a few of the Writers they were looking for. There was Keps, the logical and sensible one who was in charge. Then there was LQ, who was a great writer and animator. And last but not least was Gold. He's completely obsessed with ponies because the author, who actually is Gold, thinks this representation of him is hilarious. *Mini-Lewa: Hey guys! *Keps: Oh, hi Mini...okay, you're holding a giant silver briefcase that looks important. What did you do? *Gold: Does it have anything to do with ponies? *Mini-Lewa: No, it doesn't, it has to do with something even better! *LQ: Please don't tell me it's- *Mini-Lewa: MONEY! We made a deal with a guy made of gold so that he could exploit our popularity to make a pizzaria! *Keps: WHAT!?! You made a deal involving the BCC without asking us!?! That's stupid! Call the deal off! I don't care how much money he- *Mini-Lewa opened the briefcase. *Keps: ...Never mind! Ask him if he could use a free spot of land! Clear an area for this place! WE NEED THAT MONEY! *Gold: KEPS! I can't believe you forgot about the most important thing! *Keps: ...You mean our reputation? Now that I think about, yeah, you're right, we don't want to become sellou- *Gold: Oh, I wasn't talking about that, I WAS TALKING ABOUT PONIES! *LQ: ...Of course you were. *Gold: Well, duh! Of course I was? Wait, LQ, why are you slamming your head against a wall? *LQ did not respond, thinking about how much of a sellout they were going to become. Keps and Gold, of course, didn't care for differing reasons, and gave the Mini's their permission to keep the deal. *Approximately one week later, the pizzaria was built. Mini-Lewa's Pizza was now officially open, with great food (or at least that's what the paid critics said), and stellar animatronics that did absolutely hilarious stand-up comedy (once again, this is what the paid critics said). *Currently, Mister Gold was reading a newspaper as Matoran workers loaded in large boxes of cookies. It was Mini-Lewa's idea, and Mister Gold figured it would work great. *Mister Gold: Ah, this was an excellent idea. The money's rolling in, the suckers are practically barfing out money here...what could go wron-wait, what's this..."Another case of face graffiti found, cookie thief at large"? *Mister Gold started to read the article more closely. As it turned out, recently there were quite a few cases of people being knocked out unconcious with graffiti on their face, and along with that, all their cookies would be stolen as well. *The culprit was yet to be caught. Although he claimed to be YJF, after looking at several pictures, the police confirmed that the cookie thief wasn't YJF, rather a BCC villain by the name of Evil Gold, or E-Gold for short, using YJF's identity to scare people away. Last he was seen, he was... *Mister Gold: ..."heading towards the BCC"? Oh, Karz, I spent so much money on these cookies; I can't afford to lose them! I need to find a Night Guard, ASAP! *Indeed, Mister Gold had actually tried to get quality cookies, and as a result, it was expensive. So, he formulated a plan as to how to draw simple-minded people in for the job while making more money... *One week later, Mister Gold found himself in a rather tight spot. *Night Guard: I QUIT! This is stupid! I barely get paid above minimum wage, the animatronics KNOCKED ME OUT IN MY OWN OFFICE, and worse of all, THERE'S A FRIGGIN' COOKIE THIEF ON THE LOOSE! *Mister Gold: Well... *Night Guard: Oh, and I also recorded messages for future guards. Originally it was just to teach the guy who came after me years later, but now you're going to need them, because you're going to have to find some other poor sap! *Mister Gold: But- *Night Guard: NO "BUT"S! *The Night Guard stormed out of the office and slammed the door. Suddenly, Mini-Lewa popped out. *Mini-Lewa: Well, that sucks. *Mister Gold: GAH! What are you doing here!?! *Mini-Lewa: Er, nothing! Totally not planning to kidnap you because you're made of gold! *Unfortunately, while Mister Gold was good at making lies, he wasn't good at detecting them, so he actually bought what Mini-Lewa said. *Mister Gold: Well, what do you think I should do? *Mini-Lewa: Eh, I could probably convince one of the Writers to do it. But, quick question...why was that guy complaining about the animatronics knocking him out? *Mister Gold: Oh, I changed the animatronics programming so that they would try to knock the Night Guard out at night. After all, then we could sue the Night Guard and make more money! *Mini-Lewa: ...You know, if it wasn't for the fact that you're incredibly rich and could probably take away everything we own with a snap of your fingers, we probably wouldn't have made that deal. *So, of course, Mini-Lewa went back to the BCC to convince one of the writers to take the job. TBC... Category:Blog posts